happy easter... whatever...

spent it with friends baking peach pies, cleaning house before guest etc...

(had coloured eggs the traditional & some arty ones coloured by silk ties- etc., made deviled eggs & garnished w'sliced olives; crafts: blew eggs clear to decorate w/robin's egg blue, lavender & silver glitter & sequence then hot glued ribbon & ribbon florets to each as i hung them from bearch branches placed in either a silk blue box decorated w/angle stamp bunnies in black, green, etc then hot glued the top to the open end of the box & secondly in a terracotta pot w/grain ribbon also printed w/angle stamps for the holiday; practiced my romanian lap harp as im left little finger is fractured.)

wait on company serving various chips & dips, as well as beverages; help fix dinner ie the gravy from lamb renderings, peal & smash potaotes, & pass out plates as they were dished up. we dined & revel... took photos enjoyed champagne then after served peach pie w/a spice buttery sauce. then enjoyed some tv, an old shirley temple movine while doing dishes & sotwing food into container. as the guest left passed out small easter baskets, coloured eggs. then got on computer searched the web looking for theose few special guy that would like to be sketched or find me interesting enought to meet. unfortunately couldn't find a friend guy that wasn't headed for bed alone as i soon will be.

art is fine & dandy. it allows all the creative chi to flow out into wonderful directions but it doesn't kiss or hug or even have the any of the warth of human touch. so, here i m sipping mulled wine awaiting for my prince charming to gallop up on a white beautiful unicorn or pagusus...
it was my favorite reoccuring dream to go of to a castle w/a knight (japanese, as i spent my early years there) to come & rescue me from obsqurity & take me to his castle, make babbies & live happily ever after but my gram told me early on that 2 guys couldn't make babbies so i replies only as a 6 year old could, "we'll adopt a japanese one".

since then i won & failed have percious memories & my own share of sorrows due to my own failures. karama past present & future here i sit punching away at theis key board sharing w/anyone out there who care to read, a new creative venue, a new volunerablity. i type out words exposing my dreams, desires, my creative muses aid me but the final action is mine unless u comment.

i've loved:
flirtations...
mary stevens of petterhead, scotland to who'm i lost my virginity. for her i m thankful.
david, my first intense love, a kind deaf - orthodix jewish lad who i loved 18 month then loss to a tragic vechicular accident. the first love i drew, loving him fed my muse. discovering man love, for him i m thankful.
jerri, a kind polish lady who taought me about life & sex w/a woman. for her i m thankful.
jerry, a long beach undercover narcotic policeman we long entensely too who died tragically while on duty. i still dream of our wild sex on cycles, on sail boats & horse back & how he taught me to be free in my sexuality & sprinkle in myown creativity. for him i m thankful.
dk, a student/teacher/tantric mentor. he taught me that love making could be spiritual & worth working hard at doing ones best & not just popin' my nutz! for him i m thankful.
john c, a short time but memerable lover & the best man at my wedding. to him i m thankful
linda, my wife we loved & failed each other i was too young & she too determined at least we might still be friends. the mother of my 3 children to her i m thankful.
hugh sprague e, a handsome student that brought me out of myself exile.
maryann, who taught me to trust a woman again.
pam conners, the afro-american lover. if i weren't so scared i might have divorced & married her. to her i m thankful.
blase & steven, friends & fuck buddies. for both of u i m thankful.
marc of the mark, the hairdresser, a small town boy with giant sized sophistocation. for u i m thankful.
ricky lynn, my decade lover we bounced aroud the counrty mainly in missouri only to have loved & failed but always & foremost friends. to him i m thankful.
dan, after relocating a year of pergatory i felt most suspended between heaven & hell. to him i m thankful.
richard, the good love gone very bad. if it had come to hate it would have been better than the crosiveness it ended with - too soone to say thanks but working on it.
& i m thankful for all those zipless fucks one has tucked away in their memories to keep a song in the heart & a smile on their face to get through the dark aloneness of night.

and u...
are u out there waiting to loved & another protrait in the tapestry of my life,
woven like those athene, goddess of justice, the olive branch, who set in
momument enlaid in gold my mind rushes to nashville where she now resides
gather now around me, my athens, my peaceful neogreecians, artist, philophers...
come to me now as those to be mentored & with her help i'll do my damnest.
along w/apollo & artemis, medicine, the arts, camping, join me in ther hunt...
then lets spend awhile teaching each other the luxeries of life, love & song.

until u, it's me, my memories & my lucid dreams...
easter sunday 2007