My Sigiled Pan!

He had a sigil tattooed on the back of his hand, I noticed as he reached his had out to greet me. “I am Leif,“ he said.
“I am Cameron,” I said intrigued.
He flashed a big pearly white smile as his eye scanned down to my crotch. Then he looked me back in the eyes and in sexy fashion he licked his lips and winked unashamedly. I got an instant boner. I brushed a rosy red.
“Nice sigil!” I said trying to take my mind of the stiff rod in my slacks.
“I’ve got four of them on the back of my hands and top of my feet.”
“I take it that you are a pagan?”
“Yes, an Alexandrian Magician.”
“Well, I am an ordained Hermetic Philosopher.”
We got lost in our conversation as we seated our selves at the small coffee shop table. We had decided that we were both early for the Gay Pagan Men of Pittsburgh meeting. We chatted about the SCA, when we had both moved here from out of state and how we had grown to love the city. He was 34 and I, 54 years old.
Shortly other men joined us. More introductions... More conversations… we drank coffees and teas and dinned on the Vagabond menue. In due time the meeting was over. He had promised to give me a ride home. We had met on line and I had promised him a massage after the meeting.
As I got into his brother’s hybrid car. I had trouble fastening the seat belt. Soon I found his hands on mine.
They burned in the cold of the January night. His right hand slipped down to my crotch then on my left thigh. As he started the engine. In no time we were at my apartment and entering the door. He set down his kit on the floor then I helped him out of his coat and as I was arranging my massage mat he undressed with his back to me. He was rearing both briefs and a jock strap. When he turned around I thought that I’d pass out by the size of his hardening cock. At least a foot long and THICK!
“Lie, lie, lie down face down on the mat…” I stuttered, motioning to the living room floor.
He obliged. I massaged his back then his legs up to his buttocks. He squirmed under my hands as I manipulated his ass cheeks. Soon he was raising his pelvis as if asking for anal probing. So I did what came natural… I lubed my fingers and slid one then another in his tight wanton ass. When he was really primed. I suggested that he turn over to continue the massage. His cock looked even bigger that I had first thought. I massage his left hand, forearm and upper arm. Then crossed over him to do the right, his chest and abs. When that was finished I started on his feet, calves and thighs. It left his cock for my attention. I could take more than a third of it down to the back of my throat. He squirmed and begged me to play with his ass. As soon as I had three fingers up his ass, he begged me to fuck him.
I put on a condom filled him, filling his request. His ass was tight hot and wet… just made for fucking! With his legs over my shoulders I impelled him deeper and deeper. Just as it was getting to be too much for my cock I asked him to get on all fours. I fucked him and did a reach around. Jerking on his big cock as his nuts tightened him and I was about to cum. I pulled up his back to my chest and kissed him deeply as we both shot hot wads of thick white jizz. As my softening cock slid out of his ass he said “Merry meet!” I chimed in “Merry part,” and together “Merry meet again.” I bit deeply at his neck near the shoulder, he shook in a chilled way as goose bumps formed on his body. We then fell on the mat spent and content. He reached for a sheet of paper I had printed some days ago of The Circle Binder’s Oath. We read it in concert: “One tree, many branches. One light, many flames. One sword, many hands. One mystery, many names. Strong, the movement unified. Powerful, the people joined. Glorious, the one great tribe. Single heart, plural mind. And so I swear before the Goddess, and Before the God I will walk with (each of ) you in friendship. Starting here starting now!” then kissed again wet deep and passionately.
I got up and brought us back two glasses of green tea. We moved to the day bed that I use as a sofa and cuddle wrapped in a Mexican blanket that I’ve had at least as long his he was old. He asked if I had other such things to read and I handed him a copy of the “Golden Verses of Pythagoras,” by the time we had finished he was hard again and he played with my woody. Soon we were fucking again.
It was apparent that he loved poetic words. So I quoted the Hymn to Pan by A. Crowley as I fucked him again. As I slid in “thrill with lissome lust of light, oh man! My man! Come careening out of the night of Pan! Io Pan… as my tempo increased my words became more thready and whisper like… in the moon of the woods, on marbled mount, the dimpled dawn of amber fount… devil or god to me to me, my man! My man… Thrust the sword through galling fetter, all-devouring, all begetter; give me the sign of the Open Eye, and take the erect of thorny thigh… I am thy mate I am thy man… in the might of Pan. Io Pan! Io Pan, Pan! Pan! Io Pan! We shot in steamy loads. And decided to call it a night. He would fall asleep in my arms, my god, my man… Io, Io Pan, Pan!

my yule - satyrnalia...

Raven had just left from the 2-man heart circle at my place which as more of get acquainted time for the two of us. I needed ritual so I set about casting a circle: air - Raphael, fire – Michael, water – Gabriel, and earth – Ureal… Tossing out the first sword in the tarot deck I came a cross – the ten of swords, then the first wand – the three of wands… and so on… page of cups and ace of pentacles. Then I placed a bead of gold upon ten of swords, a copper bead upon the three of wands, silver on the page of cups and ebony upon the ace of pentacles. I lit a yellow candle placing it in the east, then red, then blue then black. Chanting in Enochian then names of the angles I cast my circle. I walked around with a smug stick of sage and lavender then a bigger red candle that raven had given me I walked about the circle, then water then salt from a clay disc with a pentagram on it. I signed in American Sign Language, bird, lion, fish and ground hog. I called upon Demeter, placing salt into a chalice of water with Kava Kava. Celebrating the wealth of body and my newly departed friend. Then I reveled in my own emotions a wee sad my determination not daunted. Then I meditated on being AWAKE, and awakening my inner muse. Then I reconsidered my resolution to stop hosting heart circles after January if the attendance doesn’t improve as I had discussed with Raven. I, a solitary witch ate the oak cake and drank the Kava Kava in Eucharist consecrationary fashion.. I closed the circle as above so below… as within so without… Put out the candles and went out to dump the crumbs of the oak cakes and the last of the drink to Hestia. As I was entering my apartment, Chris, my Asian fuck buddy, arrived unannounced. “Are you free?” He asked, “I tried calling but there was no answer on your cell.” “Sure this is just what I need on Yule/Saturnalia.” So, we walked up the stairs to the foyer to my apartment then the other stairs. I unlocked my door. We anxiously entered. And undressed straight away. We exchanged some pleasantries but knew fucking was what it was all about. I massage his shoulders with Avon’s Haiku body lotion… then his feet and calves and thighs and ass. I rimmed him. He hummed and mumbled his face into the pillow upon the mat where he lied. After some time I inserted a finger, then a second. Reaching for the condom and lube I made the ready to fuck him. I took my latex covered cock and smeared the lube with it on his ass hole, back and forth then in circular motions. He kept arching his ass up eager for the entry of my cock. I finally slowly slid the head in then ever so slowly it crept further and further in until his ass was against my pubic bone. I pull out just as slowly as I had entered, again and again. He whimpered “faster” and I compensated by slowly increasing my technique to satisfy his yearnings. Soon I was pumping in and out pausing only on reentry into his warm, wet love canal. I did a reach around and started to jerk him as I satisfied my own primeval needs. I started to cum as my body shuddered and he came as I buried my cock to the base of his ass waiting to get soft in that position. But true to their advertising, the little blue pill I had taken upon entering the apartment with Chris - kept me stiff. I took his cum and smeared it into the cauldron still on the small Egyptian coffee table and emptied my condom there as well. Then I continued fucking him, soon he was hard again… When finished we read the Hymn to Pan by A. Crowley I poured some wine for us & poured a little grain alcohol into the cauldron and ignited it. We sipped the wine and watched the fire burn slowly out. As it burned I continued to massage him. Then put on a latex glove and played with his ass some more, finger, by finger by finger by finger until I had my hand inside him, he came the third time as my hand went in and out of him. This is as he says his ultimate pleasure. After he had time to recover he got up. I picked up the slightly soiled sheet and placed it in the hamper. We cuddled in our clothes listening to Celtic music on a CD as I played along with my harp. “You know for a witch you really are an angel.” He whispered into my neck as he added, “I’ve gotta go, tomorrow is a work day for me.” I helped him into his coat and kissed him good bye at my door and then journaled, meditated and crocheted until the sun cam up in my apartment window… the first sun light after the solstice…

the GoldenVerse of Pythagoras

Interpreted by Althea Northage-Orr
Pay honor first to the Immortal Gods,
As order hath established Their Choirs;
Reverence the Oath,
The Heroes great and good
Revere thou next,
and earth’s good Geniuses, paying honor as are due.
Honor thy parents and thy next of kin;
Of others – make the Virtuous thy friends;
yeild to their gentle word, their timely acts,
nor for a petty fault take back your love.
Bear what thou canst;
Power cometh at one’s need.
Know this for truth, and learn to conquer theses:
Thy belly first, sloth, luxury and rage.
Do nothing base with others or alone;
and above all things, thine own self respect.
Next practice justice in thy word and deed
and learn to act unreasonably in naught;
but know that all must die.
wealth comes and goes—
Of ills the Goddess Fortune gives to us
bear meekly thy lot,
nor grieve at it,
but cure it as thou canst.
Remember this:
Fate gives the least of evil to the Good.
Many the reasonings that on our ears fall,
both good & bad..
admire not all of such,
nor shun them neither.
If one speaks false be calm.
And practice ever this that I now say:
let no one’s word or deed seduce thee
to do or say, nothing not in thy best good.
First think, then act,
Lest foolish be thy deed.
Unhappy are those who thoughtless act and speak.
And that which vexes do not do,
Do nothing you do not understand;
and learn to love what is good,
then sweet will be thy life.
Nor should you your body’s health neglect,
But give it food and drink
and exercise in measure,
that is, to cause it no distress.
Decent without van show thy way of life;
By unmeet expenses like one who envious make
Nor niggard be: In all the Mean is best.
Do that which cannot harm thee.
When first thou doth from soothing sleep uprise
Hasten about thy day’s intended work;
Nor suffer sleep to fall on thy soft lids
Till thrice thou hast each act of the day recalled.
How have I sinned? What done?
What duty misses?
Go through them first to last,
And if they seem good rejoice,
If evil, reproach thyself.
Toil at and practice this: this must thou love,
This to the path of Heavenly Virtue leads.
By the One who gave us the Tetractys to our soul.
Fount of Eturnal Nature this I swear; begin thy work,
first having prayed to the Gods to accomplish it.
Thou, having mastered this,
That essence of God and mortal men shalt know
Which all things permeates and all obey.
And thou shalt know that Law have established
the inner nature of all things alike.
And thou shalt know for what cannot be,
Nor aught that is impossible shall escape thee.
Thou shalt know
Self - chosen are the woes that fall us.
How wretched! For we see not good so near
Nor hearken to its voice – few only know the pathways of Deliverance from Ill!
For Fate doth blind us all,
who up and down,
with countless woes are carried by her wheel,
and bitter strife companions us
and does us secret harm.
Provoke it not, O Humans!
But only yield and in yielding find escape.
O Father Zeus, t’would free from countless ills
Did thou but show what Genius works in each!
But courage! We are the children of the Gods,
and sacred Nature all things hid reveals.
And if the Mysteries have part in thee
thou shall prevail in all bade thee do,
and thoroughly cured,
shall save thy soul from toil.
Eat not the foods prescribed,
And use discretion in lustral rites
And the freeing of thy soul.
Establish high that soul
that best of chairoteers.
and if at length, leaving behind thy body
thus dost come to the free Upper Air,
then shalt thou be
deathless,
divine,
a mortal one no more.

the Pittsburgh International Lesbian & Gay Film Festival

"homophobia is contagious & homosexuality is not!"

me, my, i all in lower case…
like the icon the fed me reason
rae, susan hayword in "back street"
the arist… the lover… my ideal—
a quiet artist, silent in the corner
sketching in shades of grey…
all eleven—manga or a portrait
or pen & ink with acrylic coloured eyes
on vibrant scrapbook paper
here i am… "touch me, see me, feel me—"
as the pin ball wizard would sing
in silent verses going unheard
can’t you hear my harmonies
against the womyn that influenced me
no GAY icon for me.
i was born too soon…
always a preemie
who lasts too long in a fuck
too eager, sucking the cream
from gods and man
rimming, rimming the eager rosebuds
i shot out of the closet at age 4 or 5
"i had a dream, grams
that i went off to a castle
with a knight
and made babies
living happily ever after."
"but two guy can not have babies, cammie."
"so we’ll adopt a japanese!"
a world traveler
a quiet artist quietly sketching
plucking the strings on my harp
singing silent harmonies
against the verge of life
the cries of life
that swallows you up
and spits you out
in--
lower case letters
c a m e r o n

sketches of DANTE 10-10-08

Bacchus's Vine, an Old English Poem

To Anacreon in Heav'n, where he sat in full glee,
A few Sons of Harmony sent a petition;
That he their Inspirer and Patron wou'd be;
When this answer arrived from the Jolly Old Grecian;
"Voice, Fiddle, and Flute,No longer be mute,
I'll lend you my name and inspire you to boot,
And besides I'll instruct you like me, to intwine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine.

"The news through Olympus immediately flew;
When Old Thunder pretended to give himself airs.
If these Mortals are suffered their scheme to pursue,
The Devil, a Goddess, will stay above stairs.
"Hark", Already they cry,"In transports of joy,
Away to the Sons of Anacreon we'll fly.
And besides I'll instruct you like me, to intwine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine."

"The Yellow-Haired God and his nine lusty Maids,
From Helion's banks will incontinent flee,
Idalia will boast but of tenantless Shades,
And the bi-forked hill a mere desert will be.
My Thunder no fear on't,Shall soon do it's errand,
And damme I'll swing the Ringleaders I warrant,
I'll trim the young dogs, for thus daring to twine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine.

"Apollo rose up and said, "Pry'thee ne'er quarrel,
Good sing of the Gods with my Vot'ries below:
Your Thunder is useless"--then showing his laurel,
Cry'd "Sic evitable fulmen' you know!
Then over each head My laurels I'll spread
So my sons from your Crackers no mischief shall dread,
While snug in their clubroom, they jovially twine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine.

"Next Momus got up with his risible Phiz
And swore with Apollo he'd cheerfully join-
"The full tide of Harmony still shall be his,
But the Song, and the Catch, and the Laugh, shall be mine.
Then Jove be not jealousOf these honest fellows,
"Cry'd Jove, "We relent since the truth you now tell us;
And swear by Old Styx, that they long shall intwine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine.

"Ye Sons of Anacreon then join hand in hand;
Preserve Unanimity, Friendship, and Love!
'Tis yours to support what's so happily plann'd;
You've the sanction of Gods, and the Fiat of Jove.
While thus we agree,Our toast let it be:
"May our Club flourish Happy, United, and Free!
And long may the Sons of Anacreon intwine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine."