Breitestuber mein Gefild
Linderand deinen blick,
Weides Freudes Augemild
Ubermen Geschick.
Gerber


7:10 am, sunday the twenty of january, 2007
after scrubbing the kitchen pantry floor as i went to let the dog out,
the side gates’ door…
opened to reveal…
the handsome gouth, roger,
he asked are you ready to go from breakfast?
i replied i must shower first.
the tea had steeped.
i pour out two cups & served the both of us.
then picked up the two cups we left for the den and the bathroom.
lacking all modesty,
i started to disrobe.
he in turned did likewise but with lack of function
he stepped most erotically through his clothes about the room with abandon.
as his trousers were forced down his rigid cock sprang forth…
foreshadowing his truest intent.
i pulled back up my shorts and ran to the kitchen retrieving the necessities…
(lubricant…)
when i returned he set playfully tossing his cock about
like an autistic child with a string
and rubbed his chest as if he had just felt it for the first time.
i leaned down and kissed him forcefully
parting his lips with my tongue…
digging in with it as if i were starving for sustenance
then i gobbled each ear…
gnawed down to his neck…
bite me!
chew!
mark me!
his dark anne rice heart showed his truest intent yet again.
a most common thread--
i fed his fetish with fervor…
playing with his nipple with my cool finger tips--
after quite some time…
the licked my way down to suckle them.
then licking down his soft pale tummy…
to his raven pubs…
i took some in my teeth & started to pull playfully—
harder he softly cried.
i grabbed his cock in my erection in my palm and--
i jerked freeing some hairs…
pulled them from my lips and
with my teeth laid claim to more and more.
i licked his cock…
then placed my lips across it perpendicularly…
bubbing my lips up and down the shaft forcing it to rub his lower belly
the pain of pulling out his hair with such force
was yet another kind act of passion and lust.
oh, god yes, he whispered
like a cooing white dove.
turning I lick his cock once more before descending to his balls
and manly seam
to the rose of joy—
that i hungrily kissed, tongued in wanton!
one hand stroked his tummy
the other held his nuts
then I tied a red silk cord about the base of his cock
and several time around his balls
in a slip knot for easy release.
i rimmed him again…
please take me he moaned…
then he bit a plastic piece
to free a piece of latex
as safety did most demand.
he freed him self from my lip lock—
slide the condom on my phallus
his skill there duly noted despite my abandon state.
then slide down impelling himself there
half on a chair and the other on me kneeling on the floor.
he quivered as he grinned his ass with all the force his youth could muster
i felt the bone above his anus rub harshly into my pubic bone.
his love glove round encircling my penis as only it could.
his round peg in a round hole!
i bite him in ravenous desire.
grawing the already red and bruised flesh.
by the gods! I cried as I came deep with in him…
jesus! He gasped into my ear
then he licked it as if to say thanks…
we rolled over onto the floor,
his back to my tummy—
Spoon fashion.
we fit together as only two men can
after a wee respite we crawled to our feet
and off to the shower that caused our casual but so brief
expression of “love”


we slowly slipped apart.
i started to rim him again.
he turned about facing my feet…
licked the tip of my cock.
then slowly engulfed it with his lips…
my usual response would have been to push him away.
but no this sailor
my mast he-trimmed the sail--
i left his rosy satin ass bud.
and one hand at the base of his cock
keeping it most taunt--
the other to back from sudden impale.
i suck him as I would only a man that i’d truly love.
as we sucked…
i gave up my last hold on not being a cock sucker!
i will own that title with him now
and most likely yet again…
as his nut shrank all but loosing them selves with his warm desiden flesh.
i pulled away and tugged at the reed silk rip cord.
my cock fell free from the wet furnace of his throat.
ARGH! He spat out in another ocean of release.



i soaped him and he me.
as we both became hard again
i reached around the curtain and grabbed another condom.
he bit , retrieved and slide it onto me.
then turned to face the spraying water’s fount.
he took his hands…
one to separate his cheeks the other to lead me to his treasure.
as I fucked him roughly
sans mercy!
i took what I claimed
named it mine to have and own.
yet again it bite his neck and shoulders
in a too brief period of time
he cried in abandon.
Fuck me!
as if I’d let anyone else near my pot of gold!
i dug my fingers into his tits…
he shot brilliant white globs of cum
upon the shower wall
the water could not quickly rinse their copiously thick stains away.
i took my hand and retrieved them as chi then slide
my fingers of goob into both of our mouths.

we dressed as if in sudden painful sadness,
with out word our clothes cleaved against or bodies
as a brig’s bars the imprisoned us from each other.
we picked up a all but full cold cups of tea
we had had so little regard for…
and slipped into the kitchen.
set them down—
he put on his coat—
i still wan t to take you out for a meal
but must leave to be to work on time.
i said save your money then do me a more adequate help
with getting my cell phone bill paid…
we kissed a good bye as he played with the door.

i watched
him as he walked away…
he turned and said I love—
i put my index finger to my lips as if to stop him from continuing—
having met you. He said with resolve then louder
you are too modest…
he blew a kiss I captured it in the air &and placed it on my lips
you aren’t a good lover—
you are the ultimate best.
my heart soared.
another from melancholy despair…
he turned
but screamed as if it were the greatest release in our love making
call me your butt pirate and I’ll call you my long dong silver.
a charming but surly smile…
another “R: in my life…
sunday 10:48 am
01/20/2007



ovalphagy—
a shark’s life with former housemates
at 1515 warren street,
randall d. christner and lee w. kikuchi!
the friendly enmeshment that devastated:
(despite their best-good intentions,
the not so dynamic dual did the deeds of destruction
miserly counting their pennies—
enumerating their oh so personal—
losses and gains!
money, the meter stick, that seemed to measure out each small part of
a friendship so easily tossed aside…
like so much flots-some and jets-some—
the ship wreck of…
my finances to a negative $4,371
and a wee bit of change…
on the turbulent seas…
of our joint chequing account for less than two months
their
blatant oversight of not paying a utility bill.)
i was sucked into their folly.
their blaming each other as if to deny their own accountability…
absence of remorse or the oversight of a well deserved apology…
now!
gaining new footing upon the sandy shores of opportunities offered--.
i cry out—
a hollow greeting:
bonne annee’
not to be readily forgotten.

just having survived:
an abusive relationship that expedited
my relocating here (another state).
first assault--over last memorial day weekend in that distant back yard--
then three months later just before my birthday—
it happened again…
assault with the deadliest weapon…
that sucked the life out of a former long term relationship
like a cheesy B-rate vampire movie
in shades of black and white
just steps out of doors
near my secure apartment building.
what had appeared to be the last breath of life was taken from me…

now-- patiently waiting for the sale of my former repose—
i sit and ponder over a cooling cup of tea…
just so much real estate now…
like two boys toys being divided at the end of the day
as one of them moves away.
i left my friends of near a decade and one half…
loosing family that had become my own
and classmates in religious/philosophical studies.
being the son of a marine with history
of moving about every few years across tatonic--continents
leaving behind again and again
the lost belongings of an innocent childhood
of a people life…
acquaintances soon to be all but forgotten in the pages of my voiceless journals.
it still didn’t come easy--
walking once more against the cold force of an ill wind
with collar curled up as if to seek out some gentle memory of warmth.

and now-- i all but have to recreate myself
by establishing new and meaningful relationships
for the third time in less than eight months—
recognizing the theme of western numerology…
hebraic and enokain…
here or the “valley – mountain top” analogy.
death and rebirth-- visualizations of my pagan mind
my heart still beats rapidly like that of a once captive hare
furrowing in another unseen bed of nettles and burs
another quiet cave of reckless reclusion.
with all the practice of loss-- that i’ve come to know
it is a bitter pill of caustic quinine…
the taste more than sour on my tongue rancidity sits,

but “hope springs eternal…”
just another step in my evolution
to become more than AWARE!
in sober conscious state awake to thought and clarity
in this misty morning coolness
a winter’s day…
and after a morning’s conversations over too many cups of tea…
i embrace the unplanned change of yet—
another compromise—
forted upon me—
in devalued trust like so many dominos falling
in cascading effect
separating the chaff from the wheat,
so to speak in imagery of the kabbalistic walk…
towards severity away from my gentle
sephra’s placement of the moon
i had so hoped to move up the centre
into the sun this brave new year—
a planetary working with the twin deities of--
artemis and apollo…
alone, again in quiet stillness a refuge claimed…
after my mornings exercise and meditation—
my mind rehearses as like the tapestries of anthene,
the master weaver.
not the fates who spin and cut the cords
of my fragile mortality…
but it’s the muses
that still spur me…
as in divination
a mosaic
utilizing the scattered tiles/runes of my life—
scrying my own dark visage in reflective pools of this morning’s rain
creating thoughts through with the crude tools at my disposal—
words.
01/12/2007





ode to being a phoenix – yet again!
burned – but not to a crisp!
by two well meaning fellows that had once called me --friend.
i’ll arise from the ashes as a phoenix once more
reborn not of regret, pain nor a selfless act of my own…
i take a break -- to pen my thoughts—
as i unpack my few remaining belongings here.
a simple life of “without…”
exiled not to a place of my very own
as i had so planned,
but rather to cohabit with a friendly irish lady
who finds her solace emptying a bottle of wine
one fluted crystal goblet at a time…
again on the third floor—
with pitched ceiling and domored windows draped and sashed…
not to share a hot bubble bath—
as before with ryan but hopefully soon,
a shower just big enough
to accommodate us two…
i can lucid dream-- imagine our next encounter—
not in the former -- club footed bath of suds and joy…
but rather to lather you down with lavender and loofa—
behind a curtain while water sprays wistfully upon us
like ganemede and zeus.
i’ll scrub your body gleefully, gnaw on your shoulders and
kiss you deeply while my hands rediscover
the pleasures of being with you—
supple youthfulness as a handsome greecian lad
and me the older -- humble mentor-lover…
to ruffle you curly blond hair beneath a skillful shampooing…
then rinse you kissing your ruddy creamy cheeks—
and massage you smooth firm but oh so soft golden—tawny flesh!
but to await your purring request for release in hushed whispers…
then with cherished administrations make love to you—
utilizing all my tantric knowledge…
adjoining with you joyously…
gripping hold of each chakra—
like rungs of a latter to the heavens…
we’ll climb--
bringing us to the ultimate zenith of satisfaction…
erupting in a hot white spiritual union…
sailing on the waves of bliss i’ll enter you…
riding in fevered action your sweetness…
your silky wet reaches…
of your cavern most beloved…
massaging your prostate with my phallus—
in intense anticipation—
(from the base of the middle pillar)
conquering the chasm in a somber ohm…
then in the voice of the aware –
- collective male conscious—
we’ll call out our personal saturnalia…
oh, pan… oh, pan!
ever hard,
ever virile…
beast and manly,
always god…
in reverent supplication…
we’ll cry aloud a melody…
singing praises in tight harmonies—
as you blow your breath softly over the reed pipes
and/or strike the strings of your olde but tuneful lyre…
play us the song of love “that dare not speak it’s name…”
as if to chant like ancient men…
to voice in thirds, fourths and perfect fifths—
a hymn that for all time will be ours alone!
(we’ve just touched kether…
and can say the unspoken name!)

so life—
bring on adversity…
just another stepping stone to the bridge to newer opportunity.
the air might rage as a tornado…
the fire heat to dare to burn yet not to consume…
the waters arise to flood…
the earth may just try to swallow me up…
my spirit will remain undaunted…
by sorrow—
nor pine away at the misdeeds of others…
mai oui, mon coeur, ryan…
i see the face of god in you…
am blessed and replenished yet once more...
to have you-- in my life—
no matter how short our time it may just be.
for our divinities have joined…
to make of us—
one!
and all the better—
the two—
me for knowing -- you!
01/15/2007
martin luther king.jr. day…

01/02/2007 activities at a bus stop

my responce to a guy who read a button off my lether jacket while i waited fro the 11e bus 01/02/2007
"gay or straight all men want blow jobs!"
this handsome young black guy read it aloud
a few people aropund us winced but he opened his jacket to share his rapidly firming manliness--
and then smiled generously coming closer to me.
i then said, "i'll get in ur elevator but wont go down!"
the bus just showed up before he could respond. great timing -- public transportation!

music as seen from BAZARRO

by don pirazo

"you can hear beautiful music anywhere.
what people really respond to is novelity"

that explains madona for me...

reflections of new years past:

late 1960 thru 1971
--spent with family around the world but my fondest memories where found in joyous in europe mainly in peterhead, aberdeenshire, scotland.
1974
--my first as a single adult -- at mike's coral a guy bar in long beach, californa. that night i learned about hankie codes. mine will always be navy blue and military - green.
1975 - 1977
--now married -- life was quiet and pretty much not memorable on this holiday.
1978
--still married. partied with friends near cloumbus. ohio in centerburgh/westerville.
1979
--booneville/columbia, missouri. had just broken off with wife. missing my children but a decissions were made. it was a quiet night spent with long time freind, hse.
1980
--jefferson city missouri, at the peppermill restaurant in the paino bar with classmates charlot and grace -- sing duets male/female with the a hot and sexy piano playing man. we kissed beneath the mistletoe.
1981
--in las vegas, nevada bar hopping with friends and soon to be long time companion, ricky lynn.
1982-1988
--missouri (marshal junction, rolla and kansas city) a decade with ricky lynn. his choice of chemicals were pot and amerto sours and mine etra dry rob roys.
1989
--sapprro, japan with nikko living the simple life of a vegitarian, continueing studies to be a joshi, the domestic partner to my eno lover.
1990
--columbia missouri, spent the night in clinton with dan. watched recorder landscapes on his tv that he had made, listened with romance and hot and heavy sex.
1991
--boystown, chicago, illinois with jesica. i remember buying her this sexy black pin stripped jacket that she wore wiht only tights under and i in my dress kilt. we dance until dawn then ate breakfast at a golden pancake house. i remember spilling syrp on my kilt, saying it got more action than i did &and with that i got picked up by the waiter...
1992-2005
--berwyn and cicero, illinois with richard. he was born 12/31/1961. was a party dj some were spent on his, and i alone others i was at his job with him and the drunks then spent a few new year's eves at classy hotels in chicago and near oakbroak mall. he was a beer drinker. two of them were spent including dyfed a long time friend of mine.
2006
--is written below in a conversation with R.
so as bob hope would say thanks for the memories-- guys!

as to the injury i cause another:

the error was due to a mental deficiently of being dyslexic and not able to remember new friends on line with out a photo as a prompt. i had thought that i only had one photo - less guy i chatted with in this certain site but even though helped i wrote three messages and they got to the wrong person, a kind, thoughtful and amiable man, mike

it was a if i had shot three arrows and they hit a bulls eye but not to the intended person that had hurt me. so in the future if one does offense to me -- i'll just block them.. now a not as a choice but a necessity i'll have no contact w/any one with out a photo to use to que me as to just whom i m speaking.

mike if you read this -- do have a happy new year. mine was spent in regretful contemplation and self reflection. tear fully...

01/01/2007

first conversation with R -- of west virginia-- the new year -- 2007

R: hope u had a hapy new year
me: fucking fantastic but it want what or w/who i had planned.
u?
R: ok mixed my drinks and got a little sick
me: wow, sorry...
my date plans were cancelled because of human error -- mine...
so i went to the baths
R: gin martinis, 2 kinds of wine, after dinner drinks and then champagne, too much...
me: sketch some guys & fuck 5 of them. had a taste of some champagne.
then walked about 1 hour to get home & had another encounter on the way...
i think i m now a whore...
R.: u only live once
me: --2 guys were in car, the driver pulled over & asked "will u blow his here's friend pipes..."
i said "no. but i'll eat his ass & fuck him well..."
the driver said "i'll pay to see that..."
so i had sex in an alley infront of another guy.
--it was stellar as i have this enjoyment in being in risky situations...
then after i pulled out, the boy i fucked called me "daddy"
R: lol
me: & the driver offer both of us $50 each... i walked away (& the wear abouts of the money is another thing altogether). he came by for a nice long time today, ryan (arrived after 5 pm then we started with a lavender bath & there was a party going on for some time he left just before 9:40 pm. i didn't pay too much attention to detail, my mind wasn't conecting to my artist eye.)
i think i keep him in a stable...
R: lol
me: he's let me do some fun & ruff stuff...
i had a picture taken for later sketches...
wanted to play more than sketch today...
R: your energy level is amazing
me: we cuddled & watch some football then fuck a couple more times
R: omg
me: for a daddy/grand dad i do have some abilities, years of practice -- not tallent. R: u trying to get me hard or jealous or both?
me: my dick might fall of if we talked dirty tonight, not because it is hard but from over usage...
so i'll settle for a smile...
now w/what u just textd m hard!
R: lol
me: he like my sketches & was fond of u & then asked to see the photos that i worked from.
R: really
me: maybe if u ever come to here -- we could play tag!
-- everyone i show, loves u, ur face, ass & balls!
several guys at the baths asked to buy art work & only 1 of ther sketches went of u...
i could make tons of money off ur image!
would u like a cut?
oh, i didn't ask did u get so sick that u puked?
hey, R.. r u there?
R: yes
no punke
me: great!
i probaly do it enough for both of us...
(silly me i bought some fritos & ate them not thinking that they'd contain wheat product... so friday, saturday & a good part of sunday a week ago i was -- puking.)
R: oh man sorry to hear that
me: well, R... i have my regular appointment down town on tuesday morning at 9 am
it's along walk but i'd rather get the exercize than not. (after being ran over by a drunk driver 15 years ago i became allergic to wheat, barley & so on...)
--but i stil have quite a bit of life left in me...
sweet dreams, bob. hope to chat w/u soon either here or on phone...
R: ok nite sir plaeasant dreams
me: may i put u in my blog?
--if so may i say something like this is R... like the designation of "O" or "Q" in their french erotic novels?
R: ok
me: so is the answer, -- yes to the use of "R" ?
R: ok, sir
me: maybe some day u can brand me w/that letter... so that'll be my dream tonight...
u too, my obediant R. u r loved unconditionally, my friend...
R: thx
xoxoxoxo
me: i'll kiss ur photo before i do my meditaions... & again as i turn of the light, buddy.
R: kisses back, sir

converstaion started before & ended a wee bit after midnight -- 01/02/2007
-- will put my sketches of R in blog no later than this upcoming weekend -- guys & friends!

(as an afterthought to this conversation and for the record -- there were a few things that so -- need to be included. as there was an attendant at the baths -- with "italian looks" -- almost black hair with a well manicured full beard -- a member of the sca -- that i found most exciting refreshing and alluring...
if you read this please reply here, at my online account, phones or even better all of the above.)
another foot note...
the staff and friendliness of the night were more than welcoming. i shall come on sundays when possible. also there was terrific food, some drink including champagne, festive decorations and noise makers that enhanced the whole new years eve experience. on the down side there are always killjoy -- and the one that night was a soft & husky -- if not rotund -- bleached blond tres gay guy - i choose to call "mary" -- that though it was more than apparent that he was inebriated and under other chemical abuse -- kept saying: 'i m not drunk!"