today a guy yell at me "fag, you should burn in hell".
i was reminded of the button i have about it being your god, your rules & you burn in hell. then i thought for about the last 15 years my life before moving to my new location had been hell...
then later on the walk up the hill going home. there was a break in the cloudiness, the sun beamed down so stopped & wrote on this snowy afternoon:

a friend, uniquely tim, always says, "i was a man trapped in a woman's body". i guess that's the way all us guys start out...

my life, probably not too unlike yours...
has been a series of tests by ordeal...
one momentous climb after another---
i then hid away n a closet by covering myself in strange clothes and bejeweled...
(never hiding my sexuality but flaunting it as if to keep others at a distance.)
but my time there was limited by supplies and boredom.
to teat away the encasing...
imploding there in the sunlight and cool fresh air...
i took off my coat & wraps and stretched out...
and like a phoenix again i arise---
12/07/2006

for my furry otter intended...

i want us to be like a "straight couple" from a romantic movie plot...
and save ourselves for our honey moon night...
i want to wait until our wedding night to consummate our love and pledges...
i want discovery, romance and sweet surrender...
i also want take you to a hotel suite then open the door and carry you to bed...
undress you... feed you champagne and berries...
then slowly and deliberately woo you....
kissing you...
undressing you...
tasting your body for the first time....
suckling your tits...
licking your wooly abs...
tonguing your hairy belly button...
kissing your cock and suckling on your balls...
even take it full length in my mouth and throat....
delighting in all your furry flavor...
then
eating your hirsute ass dripping wet, until u beg me to enter your love hole...
then just slide in with only my spit as lube...
slowly penetrate you..
and when completely in...
stop...
wait...
delighting in this life altering moment...
with your legs resting on my shoulders...
i thrust in and out of you...
playing with one tit and stroking your throbbing manhood...
i jack you off until you cry out my name as you totally surrender up to your love...
then wait until i loose all form and shape...
time itself causes the stos and we are transported...
to where only gods have been...
then kiss you until we can no longer breath...
we reach rapture...
wrapped in the white light of after glow...
i just sleep curled with the man i chose
and want to spend the rest of my life...
a short recovery nap...
then try to do everything you ask to please you.
if u have second thoughts please speak now...
for i'm loosing my heart to you...

thoughts for today

watch what you say about yourself...
you are saying it to yourself...
and just creating your own TRUTH.


REAL ALCHEMY is about...
changing the lead in our lives to the divine gold of our gods...

polarize joy:
be AWAKE and in tune with your senses...
touch, smell, taste, hear & see reality vibrate the devine.

i said, "why me?"
and Sekmet said, "why not you."